i told myself before that I'll try to be strong. Strong as in not to be carried away by my emotions. That whatever it is that might come my way will be easily dealt with conviction and maturity. I'm trying to be happy right now specially that I have Rhon with me,whose love is unconditional and insurmountable. Well actually I'm indeed happy not just by word. I don't want to come to a point wherein I would unknowingly hurt him, or even begin lying to him coz we started out with openness and trust. Noel has started manifesting himself to me again through his constant phone calls. Bugging me in the wee hours of the night and even during at my busy hours at the office. I dont have any complaints or anything against it,its just that I can't keep my mind from wondering what he's up to this time. He already knew everything about me and rhon, he even kept on telling me that its good that I already have someone right now. I dont want to assume and believe that he's trying to win me back again but I cant help myself from having those thoughts. I know I'm way past the vulnerabilty stage and I can handle this. 2 more days 'til his birthday and I guess he's just being a bit pushy reminding me about it. I do hope that is just the case. I'm praying hard that I could surpass this confusion. I'm already prepared for the time that we'll no longer have any inhibitions being just mere friends. That during our conversations we will no longer dig into our past and just keep the good memories alive. That in time, we could just focus with whoever we have in our lives. he still doesnt have any one as of this time,he just flirts/fucks around with anyone he bumps with but didnt actually had any serious relationships after ours. I just hope he'll be able to find one soon.
Its almost December and noel's birthday on the 10th of that month came across my mind. hayy i was just having clubhouse for lunch at the office pantry when he popped up on my mind. i sent him a message and i already informed him about rhon. i blurted out that rhon and i are working out on our relationship right now. i did tell him that ive waited long enough for him but to no avail and maybe we should move on with our lives, find a perfect partner and have fun while we still can. i never expected him to respond but last night i received a message from him..its ok with him he said but he just couldnt forget the major fight we had last year because of rhon. yes we had the most violent fight ever that fateful night because of rhon.noel was rude to him eversince and i cant blame him for that. but my line of patience with him got cut,totally lost control of myself that time and hurt him physically. i dont know how he felt after reading that message but i know he's hurting upon knowing that im currently with the person who caused that fight,but that was history then.
i dont know what to feel,whether to be at ease coz finally i already have rhon in my life or be bothered coz noel is still there.. i might as well just try to keep my mind off of him and focus with rhon right now...
An incredible love story has come out of China recently and managed to touch the world.
It is a story of a man and an older woman who ran off to live and love each other in peace for over half a century.
The 70-year-old Chinese man who hand-carved over 6,000 stairs up a mountain for his 80-year-old wife has passed away in the cave which has been the couple's home for the last 50 years.
Over 50 years ago, Liu Guojiang a 19 year-old boy, fell in love with a 29 year-old widowed mother named Xu Chaoqin..
In a twist worthy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, friends and relatives criticized the relationship because of the age difference and the fact that Xu already had children.
At that time, it was unacceptable and immoral for a young man to love an older woman.. To avoid the market gossip and the scorn of their communities, the couple decided to elope and lived in a cave in Jiangjin County in Southern ChongQing Municipality
In the beginning, life was harsh as they had nothing, no electricity or even food. They had to eat grass and roots they found in the mountain, and Liu made a kerosene lamp that they used to light up their lives.
Xu felt that she had tied Liu down and repeatedly asked him, 'Are you regretful? Liu always replied, 'As long as we are industrious, life will improve.'
In the second year of living in the mountain, Liu began and continued for over 50 years, to hand-carve the steps so that his wife could get down the mountain easily.
Half a century later in 2001, a group of adventurers were exploring the forest and were surprised to find the elderly couple and the over 6,000 hand-carved steps. Liu MingSheng, one of their seven children said, 'My parents loved each other so much, they have lived in seclusion for over 50 years and never been apart a single day. He hand carved more than 6,000 steps over the years for my mother's convenience, although she doesn't go down the mountain that much.'
The couple had lived in peace for over 50 years until last week. Liu, now 72 years, returned from his daily farm work and collapsed. Xu sat and prayed with her husband as he passed away in her arms. So in love with Xu, was Liu, that no one was able to release the grip he had on his wife's hand even after he had passed away.
'You promised me you'll take care of me, you'll always be with me until the day I died, now you left before me, how am I going to live without you?'
Xu spent days softly repeating this sentence and touching her husband's black coffin with tears rolling down her cheeks.
In 2006, their story became one of the top 10 love stories from China , collected by the Chinese Women Weekly. The local government has decided to preserve the love ladder and the place they lived as a museum, so this love story can live forever.
i neveR expected we cOuld still be together agaiN,and I'll be forever thAnkfuL for GoD gave you back to me.
It's been a long and winding journey
But I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces
Walking back into the light
To the sunset of your glory
Where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling
When I look into your eyes
My dreams came true
When I found you
I found you
My miracle
If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
And if you can feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Standing here before you
Feels like I've been born again
Every breath is your love
Every heartbeat speaks your name
My dreams came true
Right here in front of you
My miracle
If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
If you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Brought me here to be with you
I'll be forever grateful
(Oh forever grateful)
My dreams came true
When I found you
My miracle
If you could see what I see
You're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel
The tenderness I feel
You would know
It would be clear
That angels brought me here
Six months after that fateful day,half a year of burden, of pain,buckets of tears.. I never ceased out expecting that things will go back to its original course but I was left hanging,discombobulated. As what I have posted before,I have asked God to give me one sign...one sign which will make me turn my back from it all, from all the bitter memories the past has left me with.I hoped and prayed that I would be able to surpass all its hauntings,and the dark shadows of what once I thought was luminescent,a light which should've showed me the path to fulfilment and happiness. Countless times I've tried to reach you, tried to patch up things with you.. but you never reached out your hand for me. Reconciliation then was impossible and a complete no-no! You kept your pride while I ate mine..you enjoyed your new life without me while I suffered relentlessly.. but still I remained hopeful.
i silently kept all these to myself which made me suffer more,and perhaps God noticed that I was really struggling so hard to keep myself intact...until finally His light paved its way through me..
About more than three years ago when i was still a government employee of Santiago City Hall I met this very interesting guy named Ronald. we crossed paths at one of the local chat rooms I usually go to ( just couldnt remember what room it was) At that time I was never really into serious chatting but curiosity struck me when I came across this kid.Yes he was just a kid then for me coz he's just a college stud that time while im already at my late 20's. Mind you bloggers,we're two poles apart that time,i was in Isabela Province which is North and he lives in Guingoog City in Mindanao which is far south. But the distance never prevented us from getting in touch with each other at a constant pace. Well i guess that started it all,text messages,calls,and even letters and pictures. We became intimately attached to each other until we became long distance lovers. I was his first boyfriend and I have loved him truly that time as well. Distance was never an issue for us but it was considered a challenge instead. For 6 long months we remained happy and contented with what we have, not minding the set-up which was kinda odd though. Until he broke the news to me that his family was starting to slowly discover his true sexuality and forbade him to continue having an affair with me. His older sister just happened to have messed up with his things and found the letter and the pics i have sent him for our monthsarry. At that time all I could do was to understand him since he was just about to finish college and his family was expecting too much from him. I gave him his freedom and allowed him to work on his own for the meantime.
A few years had passed and along the course of time I had other relationships which never worked out.The last one i had with Noel which i assumed as the best and the strongest of all relationships i had also tumbled down. The most painful break-up I've had so far.
But somehow I survived. For six months I could say I have remained strong. Some has attempted to take advantage of the vulnerability I have but never succeeded. Sorry Lucky but its really hard to open up one's heart if its still bleeding and hasn't healed yet. Lucky was a good person who unfortunately got caught in the middle of love, expectancy, and in the end..dismay. He knew very well that he was taking a really serious risk at that time out of his love for me. He expected too much from me which I found so hard to meet at that time and in as much as I wanted to reciprocate all the love he has for me,I really cant. And the ending, he simply gave up and I never heard anything from him since then.
Im still receiving phone calls and text messages from Noel, I still have his pictures and videos on my mobile phone,laptop, ipod, and friendster account. He still hasn't deleted anything from his end as well. I was so stupid coz up to this day I was still hoping we could talk things out..however, I knew I was already blinded to the fact that we could still consider a second chance coz he already made me lose hope somehow, but I would be glad if we could just end up as good buddies without having issues regarding our past. I will always wish for his happiness like I always tell him.
I kept myself busy with my work, friends and relatives. Office during regular days, party anywhere, drinking bouts with my cousins and the like. Constantly getting in touch with my parents in Isabela and Patrick also. I'm kinda sure I'm happy with all the available outlets that I have.
I could still say that life is still fair and misfortune strikes you through your own doings. Be good and you'll receive goodness as well. Love and you will be loved in return, as long as you're already prepared for it.
God indeed provided me a sign to get away from it all. A sign which I never expected. Ronald and I met up once again after how many years. It was way too long but the love that we had for each other remained the same. He's already matured and even became a stronger person. I could feel deep within that this is something we could both work out coz the love was never lost. It just remained in our hearts. And now its time for us to revive that love..make the most out of it, and never let it slip away again.
I never thought I'd catch you again through YM chat..its been weeks since you last texted me,you didn't even remember me on my birthday.One sign i thought God gave to me to completely move on with my life.But there you were,bringing back all the memories again..you even showed me on cam how you lost some weight (sana nga yan ang gusto mo,i'm thinking na wala na kase nag-aalaga sayo ngayon eh) I'm glad that day 'coz in some ways I felt the excitement from you seeing me again even just on webcam.I'm glad you're doing great there.I just hope you'll always be safe and try to distant yourself from people/things/doings which will just do you no good.I will always be here for you,that never changed and you know that.
As I’ve grown older and, hopefully, wiser, I’ve come to recognise the qualities in people around me that I believe have true value, and which I myself aspire to possess. Sadly, I’ve also come to understand just how rare it is to find even a few of these qualities in another human being.
I have begun to gain some insight into the man my father has become in the past few years, and I’ve realized along the way that I am somehow among a very fortunate few to have a father,even if our father-and-son relationship isn't that ideal and even if Papa is as flawed and imperfect as each and every other person, embodies so many of those qualities that I have come to hold so dear. Strength of character. An unswerving sense of duty and unfailing loyalty. An abiding and unconditional love for his family. A keen sense of responsibility, and the willingness to selflessly sacrifice for the good of others.
Pa, I hope that one day I am half the man that you are, and I am proud to be your son.
Happy birthday Papa, we love you.
Patrick,the youngest among the Salvador siblings at ang pinaka-guwapo daw sa amin. Our "balong" whom we love so much. All throughout the years,from birth til this very day he remained a good,loving and family-centered person. Despite all the struggles our family went through he was just there with us,never did he complain and asked for material things way beyond our means. If i could only turn back time,i would spoil him all he wants and provide to him everything. Nevertheless,he still remained our baby boy who has now turned into a handsome man. Cheers to Mr.Pabling, Chick Boy, at Crush ng Bayan...our one and only "balong".
Happy 18th Birthday Trik. We love you so much!
its barely 3 months now...
im here,you're there...
trying to live our own lives separately..
less than 3 years...
it seems like a lifetime...
we might've been given only a lesser time together...
but it doesnt mean that i have loved you any less.
